Paul Markham Teens - Review |
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Straight from the site: Paul is just a normal guy who found he can get an endless stream of horny girls to strip nude, make money and get fucked at the same time. In the beginning his photography sucked but who cares, so did the girls!! Now he's published all over the world and the girls still suck.
I though the copy editor was pretty fucking hilarious to pen that little blurb, so I figured I’d start things off with the tong-in-cheekiness that is Paul Markham Teens (here on out known as PMT. I’m too damn lazy to type the whole thing out, yet not lazy enough to actually type out what I plan on not typing out in the future).
PMT is an excellently executed site. Most of the models weren’t even born when Paul took up a camera and started to photograph fodder for his future bishop-bashing sessions. Now the guy has turned his masturbatory madness into a lucrative business. Imagine getting paid to photograph and fuck various babes from the Czech Republic. I’m imagining it right now and I just put a dent under the bottom of my laptop.
PMT.com has over 2000 photo shoots with 100 photos in each and close to 350 videos, which are all downloadable. And they’re not 3 minute snippets that ends before you start to get. They last 16 minutes… twice as long as it takes to actually have sex, including the time it takes to order and wait for the pizza. All for less than 2 extra large pies with everything on it.
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Right from the start you can see that Paul Markham knows what he’s doing and knows what his members want. The tour section alone tells me he’s not a cheap bastard and actually cares about what he does and the people he snaps for a living. You get 5 videos running about 15 seconds each. Doesn’t seem like a long time, but if you choose the “looping” feature, it seems like it lasts all day. And the videos aren’t censored. They’re hardcore, downloadable and free. And we haven’t even been inside yet.
In the tour section, you are also greeted to an A to Z model directory of all that is inside once you become a paid member. Most of the girls are from Prague and other European countries. But that shouldn’t phase you. According to Paul, Czech girls are the prettiest, horniest and easiest girls… They love sex, need money and always willing to please. “Nuff said, Paul. You lucky bastard!
Once inside PMT, you are greeted to an excellently laid out main members’ page with a thumbnailed rendition of what you expect to see. The links are clearly marked and supply the following: Newest Sets, All Content, Teenage, Couples, Video, Amateur, Glamour, Big Tits, Nude and Interracial. Below the thumbnails, Paul has this little blurb to tickle your nutsack: You'll find pictures and videos I have shot over the last 15 years, some favorite girls and others not so favorite, some I fucked and some I fucked off. Some with the stories of what happened when we were shooting her and with a few even pictures of me getting into the action. My personal preference is for teens with a smile that says to me, "A fuck is definitely possible" That and two girls or more getting into some how lesbian action, anal action and videos with a girl masturbating to a real orgasm. PMT.com in a nutshell.
The link Newest Sets are new. As the writing of this review, March 25th, 2006, there were already 3 updates. More new stuff than most sites have in a month. PMT.com updates every day. I like new poon on a regular basis. Thanks, Paul. The site states that there were 40 updates since March 11th. My math is pretty sucky, but that seems like a lot. And I like it.
All Content is exactly what it sounds like; it carries all of the content from the entire site. You also have the option of viewing the offerings via “newest sets”, “oldest sets”, “best rated star sets” and “worst rated star sets”. The star sets is the ingenius 5-star rating system. 5 being the bomb and 1 being the bomb-blast. You can also “book to favorites” which sends the shoot to a special folder or you can “mark as seen” so you don’t have to click it again while you’re pounding your pud like a mad person. As all of us pud-pounders know, we tend to become stupid once we’re beating ourselves sensless.
The site also has a small blurb accompanying each video/photo set. Set #9844 springs to mind which focuses on Natalli and Sheridan (these European parents are fucking loony with the names they give their kids. One name is the last of a desperate housewife and the other begs to be pronounced incorrectly, but I digress). Sheridan and Natalli, two of the horniest girls around. I got them to fuck each other in the pussy and ass with the toys, because I know they both love anal sex. so why not let them indulge themselves. And induldge they do. If you liked what you witnessed and want to see more, just hover your mouse over their names and you are treated to even more of these lovely treats.
Another amazing aspect of the site is their “Search Engine” option. It’s the only one I know that instructs you with pictures, so any blind monkey can do it. Especially me. They show you in 4 easy steps: 1st step, select searching types. These include video, images or video and images. 2nd step, select the whole site or different sub-categories. Sub-categories include solo teen, boy and girl or girl and girl. Step 3, select the attributes as options for your search: amateur, big tits, ebony, Latin, Asian, anal, blond, cum shot, hairy pussy, ravers, strap on, voyeur, fisting, etc. Step 4, SEARCH. Holy fuck! This is the most extensive search engine I have ever witnessed. This option alone is worth the monthly membership.
One option was boy/girl and old/young. And guess who pops into the video? None other than Paul himself. Paul looks like your average, everyday old guy but with a twist. He has this way with these European ingénues and gets to fuck and suck and lick every inch of their bodies. I hate you Paul! But you have a great site!
The site also has sections for jokes and stories. These are either written by Paul himself or by some of the models he has on his site. Both are good for a laugh, but I suggest you stick with the pussy. You can’t beat your meat to words… unless you’re really good at imagining sexual tales.
Conclusion
Paul Markham and his teens have plenty to offer and offer it well. The site is really well laid out and extremely easy to navigate. The thumbnailed bookmarks are a porn-addled mind’s dream. You don’t want to have to jump through hoops for your porn; you just need to point and click. PMT.com allows that with the greatest of ease. The home-grown search engine is fucking brilliant. And the site is 100% exclusive with videos that are 100 meg and more in size and are all downloadable. Updates are fast and furious and the amateur European babes that are showcased inside look like they like what they’re doing and do whatever it is they’re doing very well. Paul, if you need someone to hold the boom or a light during one of your shoots, you know where to reach me.
Price: $29.95 for 30 days; $25.00 for 30 days recurring; $49.95 for 60 days recurring; $65.00 90 days.
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